How to agree on a baby name you both actually like

One of you loves it, the other has met someone by that name. Put the names you are stuck between in below and draw one right now, or skip to the part that settles it: you both swipe, and only a name you both said yes to survives.

Your deck

The names you two are stuck between, one per line.

This draws one for you. The app asks you both separately, so the only name you end up discussing is one you had already both said yes to.

Settle it by swiping

No download, no sign-up. It opens in your browser.

bickr runs the write-apart-then-compare method as a deck: you both swipe the same names on your own phones, neither of you sees the other’s answers, and only a name you have both said yes to comes back, free and with no sign-up.

Why reading the list aloud stalls

Whoever reads the list out first loses. The name arrives in somebody else’s voice, the other person reacts to the voice as much as the name, and by the third one you are both defending positions neither of you held ten minutes ago. That is how a shortlist gets shorter for the wrong reasons.

What actually works

Write your lists apart, then compare, and keep only the names that appear on both. Give each other a small number of vetoes that need no explanation, so nobody has to justify a feeling. Say the survivors with your surname and inside a full sentence, because that is where names live. Sit on the last two for a week and one of them usually goes quiet on its own. And there is no deadline worth arguing over: plenty of couples meet the baby first and decide afterwards. If you would rather have that method as a tool than as a rule, our baby name app for couples is the same thing run for you.

Or let the swiping do the asking

bickr runs the write-apart-then-compare method for you. One of you starts a room and sends the link, you both swipe the same names on your own phones, and neither of you sees the other’s answers until a name comes back yes from both. Then both phones say so. If you would rather stay here, the deck above takes your own shortlist and settles it without you opening the app at all: it draws the way our wheel of names alternative does, one name at a time, with nobody spinning anything.

Questions people ask

How do couples agree on a baby name?: Write your lists apart, compare them, and keep only the names that turn up on both. Give each other a small number of vetoes that need no explanation, say the survivors out loud with your surname, and leave the last two alone for a week. bickr runs the writing-apart half for you: you both swipe the same names without seeing each other’s answers, and only a name you both said yes to comes back.
What if we cannot agree on any name at all?: Change the input rather than the argument. Swap in names neither of you has proposed yet, off a family tree or a list you have not read, because neither of you has taken a position on any of them. And there is no deadline worth arguing over: plenty of couples meet the baby first and decide afterwards.
Is there a way to decide without arguing about it?: Take the arguing out of the asking. If neither of you knows what the other said until something matches, there is nothing to talk anybody into, which is why bickr never shows you your partner’s swipes. The only name you end up discussing is one you had both already said yes to.