How to agree on a baby name you both actually like
Write your lists apart, compare, then sit on the last two.
Everyone swipes on their own phone. You go with the first thing you all say yes to.
Can’t decide? bickr it. No download, no sign-up.
Bickr runs the write-apart-then-compare method as a deck: you both swipe the same names, and neither of you sees what the other said. Only a name you both said yes to comes back. It’s free, and there’s nothing to sign up for.
Why reading the list out loud goes wrong
Whoever reads the list out first loses. The name arrives in someone else’s voice. The other person reacts to the voice as much as the name. By the third one you’re both defending positions neither of you held ten minutes ago. That’s how a shortlist gets shorter for the wrong reasons.
What actually works
Write your lists apart. Then compare them, and keep only the names on both. Give each other a few vetoes that nobody has to explain, so neither of you has to justify a feeling. Say the ones that are left out loud, with your surname, in a whole sentence. That’s how a name gets used. Sit on the last two for a week and one of them usually goes quiet on its own. And there’s no deadline worth arguing over. Plenty of couples meet the baby first and decide after that.
Or let the app do the asking
Bickr runs the same method for you. One of you starts a room and sends the link. You both swipe the same names on your own phones. Neither of you sees the other’s answers until a name comes back yes from both of you. Then both phones say so. Would you rather just have the tool? Our baby name swipe app is free, has nothing to download, and draws a name from your own shortlist without a room at all.
When you’re down to two names
Two names left and neither of you will move. Don’t decide it tonight.
Try each one for a week. Use it out loud. Say it across a room. Put it in a sentence with your surname. Write it on something. Names sound different when you’re using them rather than judging them, and one of the two usually goes quiet on its own.
If they both last the fortnight, you have two names you both like. That’s a good problem. Take the one from whoever has given way more often. Or keep both and meet the baby first. Plenty of couples do, and nobody has ever asked them why.
Questions people ask
How do couples agree on a baby name?
Write your lists apart. Compare them, and keep only the names that turn up on both. Give each other a few vetoes that nobody has to explain. Say what’s left out loud, with your surname. Then leave the last two alone for a week. Bickr does the writing-apart half for you. You both swipe the same names without seeing each other’s answers, and only a name you both said yes to comes back.
What if we cannot agree on any name at all?
Change the names, not the argument. Try names neither of you has put forward yet, off a family tree or a list you have never read. Neither of you has taken a side on any of them. And there’s no deadline worth arguing over. Plenty of couples meet the baby first and decide after that.
Is there a way to decide without arguing about it?
Take the arguing out of the asking. If neither of you knows what the other said until something matches, there’s nobody to talk round. That’s why Bickr never shows you your partner’s swipes. The only name you end up talking about is one you had both already said yes to.